Rotten Eggs
Glorfindel was hungry. His darling Erestor was still working in his office, so he wandered down to the kitchens to see what kind of leftovers there were. The kitchen was empty, but he spied a bowl of boiled eggs, just sitting on the counter, tempting him. With a grin on his face, he took one and hit it against the counter to crack it, then carefully pulled the shell off. He never could resist boiled eggs. After making sure there was no remaining shell, he popped it into his mouth, smiling as his teeth sank into the firm yolk.
He finished the egg, and absentmindedly cracked another one open, then another, popping them into his mouth. Turning around to dispose of the shells, he found a bowl of steamed broccoli left over from dinner. Another of his favorites! He grabbed a couple spears to munch on as he walked out towards Erestor's office to tell his little mate it was time for bed.
~~~*~~~
Erestor wailed in delight as Glorfindel pounded him into the mattress, and he knew again why he loved his big warrior. All of his bad habits could never outdo this. Never.
~~~*~~~
Erestor was startled awake as the long fingers of the horrible green
fog reached for him. He jumped out of bed, hoping against hope to
outrun the deadly fog, careened into the bathroom and ripped off some
toilet paper. He shoved it into his nostrils, took a deep breath,
cautiously opened the door, then re-entered the bedroom. Grabbing a
pillow, he beat Glorfindel soundly over the head with it. "Wake up,
you beast. Get yourself outside now! Go sleep with Asfaloth in the
stables if you're going to do that!" he yelled.
Glorfindel awoke suddenly, shielding his head. "What? What's the
matter, honey? What happened?" Fully awake, Glorfindel pouted. "What did I do? Why are you banishing me to the stables, love? Come back to bed."
"What did you eat today, you foul-smelling elf! No more eggs and
broccoli before coming to bed, or next time, I'll put a plug in it,"
Erestor said, opening the windows to allow a fresh breeze into the
room.
"Oh, sorry, love. I forgot that happens," Glorfindel replied,
contritely.
"Well, just be sure you don't forget again. Are you done, or do you
need to go the stables?" Erestor asked, now sprinkling sweet-smelling
perfume over their blankets.
Glorfindel groaned at the noxious mixture of aromas and buried his
head in the pillows. "Hmmm...I think I'm done, sweetie," he replied,
turning over and making sure his backside was aimed towards the open
window and not towards his mate, not realizing that Erestor had
closed the window again.
As he slipped into reverie once more, his relaxed body allowed
another violent explosion to fill the air with a green gaseous fog,
bringing tears to Erestor's eyes.
Erestor wondered why he had ever married such a noxious elf. His
bodily functions would wipe out a troop of Orcs and wargs. He
certainly hoped his husband refrained from eating eggs while on
patrol. The stealth of the elves would be destroyed not only by the
smell but by the violent explosions that Erestor was surprised had
not blown a hole in his husband's leggings before now. He paused to
wonder how the laundry staff managed to remove the brown stains that
were always present.
When another loud explosion rent the air accompanied by the green
fog, Erestor stuffed his sleep robe into his nose and ran to the
window, flinging it wide. He took another blanket and propped it up
for a direct vent to the window, hoping to direct his husband's
exertions outside. With tears streaming down his face and his eyes
burning, he gave up and went to sleep on the sitting room couch.
Remembering their earlier lovemaking, he smiled. No, all the bad habits in the world would never make him stop loving his big warrior.
The End